Since the Woody Allen accusations of child molestation have come back into the spotlight, we thought it would be a good time to remind everyone of these other celebrities who have done really awful things. And when we say awful or horrible, we mean REALLY bad things. Some of these incidents have been pushed under the rug, but since we are here (pat on the backs of all of our writers), we could not just let sleeping dogs lie.
1. JIMMY PAGE
Jimmy is widely considered one of the world’s best guitarists, which is fair. His time with Led Zeppelin produced some of the best known music of the 70’s. All members of the band have a great reputation for being crazy rock stars (“I heard they once used a live shark as a dildo!”). You can be a rock god and stay badass without going past the limits. Apparently Jimmy does not know where to stop. In 1972 he kidnapped a 14 year old girl, had sex with her and then hid her for years to avoid jail. Yes, what a keeper. Lori Maddox said that Jimmy’s roadie threw her in the back of his limo and said “You fucking move and I’ll fucking have your head.” So after they had gross illegal underage sex, Jimmy kept her behind locked doors so that their relationship would not be discovered. Lori actually stayed with him for years later saying the whole thing was “romantic”. He never saw the inside of a court house (for this anyways) and went without a slap on the hand. Bet you didn’t know about that fun Jimmy Page story.
2. VINCE NEIL
While Led Zeppelin was well known for their crazy rock star behaviour, Motely Crue take the cake for hardest partying band. In 1984 Vince Neil, the lead singer, was having a house party. I guess they got to the end of their chips and soda (i.e. drugs and booze) and Vince decided to act like a moron and drunkenly drive to the nearest store with his friend Razzle in the car. Of course they hit another car head-on and Razzle was killed instantly while the other driver and passenger were hospitalized. Why wasn’t he charged and put away? Being THAT famous has its perks. Vince later said “I wrote a $2.5 million check for vehicular manslaughter when Razzle died. I should have gone to prison. I definitely deserved to go to prison. But I did 30 days in jail and got laid and drank beer, because that’s the power of cash. That’s fucked up.” Yes, yes it is Vince.
3. SEAN PENN
He is kind of old and gross now (someone really should tell Charlize Theron), but back in the day, he was considered really sexy. He wasn’t doing those starving kid commercials or spending all his money on letting the world know that the Iraq War was just for oil. What we like to remember Sean for isn’t riding around on his high horse, screaming about how he is the most righteous person alive or even his considerable talent in acting but for pulling the original Chris Brown. Yes, you read that correctly. Sean was married to the young and upcoming singer, Madonna. Well their marriage went south quickly and he decided the best thing to do was to tie her to a chair and assault her for hours. He ran out of booze (oh no!) and came back to continue. She finally escaped after telling Sean she had to go to the bathroom. What we don’t understand is why Sean thought she should have some privacy to pee when he had no problem beating the stuffing out of her and emotionally abusing her for hours. Madonna had him arrested but did not press charges because she did not want a media circus. So he was let go scot-free.
4. DR. DRE
When you think about Dre you might think of his awesome headphones or Eminem. He was a pretty big star in his own right when he hit the rap scene with his crew N.W.A in 1989. They were rapping about wanting to kill the police, getting it on with the ladies and being an overall gangsta. In 1990, Dee Barnes interviewed Ice Cube, another member of N.W.A so they decided to beat the crap out of her. So when Dr. Dre saw her at a record release party after the interview, he managed to sweet talk her to the side of the party and “began slamming her face and the right side of her body repeatedly against a wall near the stairway”. This was in front of the whole party and his bodyguard held the crowd off. He tried to throw her down the stairs and when he failed, he just starting kicking her in the ribs. When she managed to get up, he chased her into the women’s bathroom where he donkey punched her for a bit longer. This was her side of the story. When member of N.W.A were asked about it, they said “the bitch deserved it” and “bitch had it coming”. Thankfully Dee Barnes tried to sue him for $22.5 million. Of course, he managed to talk his way out of it- 240 hours of community service, two years’ probation and an anti-violence PSA was his punishment. His career didn’t suffer and he went on to sell 4.5 million copies of his album “The Chronic”.
5. TIM ALLEN
If you were alive in the 90’s, you probably remember “Home Improvement” and that horrible “manly” sound that Tim Allen made. This comedian managed to go from one sitcom to Christmas movies and make a pretty penny in the process. In the late 1970s, he attempted to take 1.4lbs of cocaine (a ridiculous amount) on a plane. The drug sniffing dogs managed to catch him and that crime was enough to send someone away for life. So what is a funny guy to do? He snitched on every dealer he knew and managed to reduce his sentence to 3-7 years and only served 28 months. Years later, after “Home Improvement”, he scored the voice roll in “Toy Story” and has been living happily ever after. Tim Allen: scary coke dealer to Buzz Lightyear.
6. RICK JAMES
Rick James is known for his Motown inspired style as well for being a “superfreak”. I think it is fair to say that being a superfreak does not constitute if you kidnap someone and torture her for 20 hours. If Mary Sauger, a music executive, was not enough, while on parole he held Frances Alley hostage for stealing his drugs- did we forget to mention is crack and coke addiction? He tied her up for SIX DAYS and burnt her with his crack pipe and raped her for approximately 12 hours. Poor lil’ Rick was convicted of two charges but not torture, which would have put him in jail for life. No one remembers this version of him and instead prefer the hilarious and charming Dave Chappelle version.
7. ERIC CLAPTON
Everyone knows at least one of Eric’s hits. “Layla” or “Wonderful Tonight” were massive hits. That is all nice and dandy but here is where it gets messed up. Eric Clapton is supporter of Enoch Powell, a member of the British Conservative Party and full-blown racist. Enoch said that England was going to go to ruins if England’s immigration (a.k.a. non-white) policy did not change. Most people were smart enough to ignore this guy. But not Eric. In a drunken performance in 1974, Eric went off on a rant about “wogs” and “blacks”. Although all recordings disappeared a witness said that he said” I think Enoch’s right … we should send them all back. Throw the wogs out! Keep Britain white!” and that Britain was on its way to becoming “a black colony”. Since there was no proof that this happened, Eric stated that he was not racist and that was the end of it.
